Picture this (or maybe you're in this right now). You found a guy you like. Seems like he likes you too. You have a great few weeks/months dating. But then things start to go a bit astray…
The thing is, you feel like you’ve committed time and energy to him now. And the good times were good. So it feels like a waste to walk away.
Plus, you really don’t want to be back on the dating apps, starting that search all over again… So maybe you should give him another chance?
Maybe you should. But often you shouldn’t.
Here are three instances where he’s not ready to for a relationship and you should be walking away, but may find it hard too.
He’s messaging less, but everytime you think “this is it”, he gets back in touch
You’re being fed just enough titbits to keep you interested and hoping for more. Maybe he really is busy with work, you think.
Walk away. You deserve someone who gives you the time and attention that you desire and deserve. You deserve way more than tibits. And if you’ve let him know this isn’t enough and he hasn’t done anything about it, it’s definitely time to walk away.
He doesn’t want the same things in the future
You hang out, have fun, get along great. But everytime you bring up the future, he avoids it, or makes clear he wants different things or at different times to you.
This is a tough one. But timing and practical plans really are important in your ultimate relationship. If you want certain things by certain times, you need to find someone who is on the same page.
Walk away, and he’ll either decide he can change for you, or you’ll find someone who wants the same things as you.
He’s displaying red flag behaviour
There are all kinds of red flag behaviour. Try and be objective and think “if my friend was in my position what would I be saying to her?”. The hard thing about red flag behaviour is that it can just be small snippets in an otherwise great relationship, that you think may disappear. But chances are, they won't.
Blowing hot/cold, not being clear on what he wants, anxious/worrying behaviour, manipulation, trying to dictate, overly possessive, angry/argumentative are all common red flag signs.
Walk away. Remember, in the initial stages everyone is on their best behaviour - if you’re getting red flags now, they’re only going to turn into red sails later. Don’t rely on them going over time.
Deciding when to walk away can be really tough. Especially if bits of the relationship have been, or still are, great. But when you’re looking for your ultimate relationship you don’t want to compromise on the important stuff.
Keep that abundance mindset and trust there are plenty of other men out there who can give you what you desire and deserve.