Part hopeless romantic, part deeply practical. Wild at heart, but grounded in reality.
Many moons ago, I was faced with a massive wake-up call. A devastating break-up leading to a stay in ICU and a month off work became the best-worst thing that ever happened to me.
At the time it was the toughest experience I’d ever had to face (and I’ve negotiated deals worth hundreds of millions of dollars in the board rooms of London and climbed mountains with no sleep).
In hindsight, it was the much needed wake-up call I need to find my way home. Home to myself, home to a way of life that really worked for me and a home and family with the most amazing man. My dream partner <3.
I had begun to lose hope that that last part was even possible - I’d dated so many guys from so many backgrounds and nothing seemed to work out. I’d met guys off Tinder, I’d been introduced through friends, I convinced myself a colleague might be the right guy for me.
None of it worked.
I’d get excitedly swept up in a few weeks and months of romance, only to be left sobbing on the pavement (yes, literally) as multiple guys walked off into the night. I cursed myself for getting so excited, for believing that things could be different.
Then after my big break through, I was introduced to my first coach. And it started that amazing journey home for me. New friends, hobbies and opportunities started falling into my lap. I realised there was a much easier way to do life. To do dating. And now to do relationships.
I can honestly say that I am so, so much happier with life now.
And I’m proud to say my dream partner is a huge part in that.
Because despite Beyonce preaching about “Doing your own little thing" and "Me myself and I", we ladies are hard-wired for human connection. And it’s ok if the thing you want most is a relationship. In fact, that’s truly amazing! It means you’re so close to finding one. And trust me, those stories of things falling into place and it being easy when you meet the right one. They’re pretty accurate.
A new dialogue is needed
I’m really passionate about changing society’s dialogue around relationships. We’ve gone from the times of Jane Austen when a woman’s purpose was to get married, to an era of being called to be strong, independent women who don’t need to rely on men (but will still get asked why they’re single at every wedding).
What about the happy medium? What about being independent, but also relying on the support of an incredible man? To know you would be 100% fine on your own, but also that you would be happier in a relationship?
A change in approach
One of my favourite quotes is: “The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.
Yet this is the approach I see many, many women take towards both dating, and to life in general.
What about stopping the crazy pursuit of a man before your biological clock stops ticking to take some time to really understand who you want that man to be?
What about opening up to the possibility that a great man is out there? One who will enhance your life, not take away your freedom?
What about taking a few moments away from your career or social life to dedicate to yourself and your dating life.
My call to you
My call to you is please don’t give up. Please stop struggling with dating and seeing it as a thankless chore. Please open yourself up to the possibility that great men are out there and dating can be easy and fun.
Please take the time to discover who you really are and what you really want and need in a relationship.