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First Date Dos and Donts

First date nerves. First date fatigue. First dates that lead to nothing.

The dating game can feel like a bit of a minefield. You can get so wrapped up in how you’re coming across and what the other person thinks of you, that you stop being you. This is probably the single worst thing you can do!

I realised I have a pretty good track record of getting asked out onto a 2nd date. In fact, I can only think of 2 guys that didn’t ask - and on reflection, we just weren’t compatible. I don’t want to bombard with you how you should sit, dress or tell witty jokes.

The best do and donts are much more simple.


Be yourself - you want to be in a relationship with someone who likes you for who you are. Therefore be who you are! Don’t be afraid to open up, show your quirky sides and let them see a little deeper.

Have fun - dating is not a test you pass or fail. It’s a way of getting to know someone so you can see if you’re compatible. Enjoy learning about them and sharing about you.

Focus on feelings - people will forget what you said or how you looked, but will always remember how you made them feel. This goes two ways. By being yourself and having fun, you are going to make the other person feel good. And also remember to recognise how you feel. Do you like how they make you feel?


Feel pressured: there are no rights and wrongs or ‘techniques’ for dating. You don’t have to decide if this is your future spouse on the first date.

Be mean: have some compassion for the other person too, everyone is navigating the minefield together. Be nice, friendly and make an effort even if you know that you’re not a good match going forward.

Close up: when we’re nervous or scared of getting hurt, we can start carefully thinking through what we say and do. In doing that, you mask the best sides of you.

So next time you go out on a first date, try to relax. Be yourself, have fun and focus on how you feel. It will transform your dating experiences.

And if you find that you keep going on first dates with the wrong type of guy, my Mr Wrong to Mr Right course will be perfect for you. You’ll understand exactly why you’re not attracting the right partner for you and learn all about your relationship style and fit. It’s just US$37 and available here.

Until next time,




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