Have you ever wondered whether you are too crazy for a relationship?
The answer is, of course, no.
You are not crazy. You are an individual with specific desires and needs. Who's calling who crazy?
When you think you are going crazy, remember you are self-defining yourself as crazy. What you class as crazy will be different to me, to your best friend and to your mother. So if you feel like you’re acting crazy, remember it’s crazy by your own standards.
It means you’re being pushed into a territory that doesn’t feel good to you. You’re not being your authentic self. Why do you act like this?
Crazy behaviour generally happens when you’ve been triggered. And being triggered happens when you are reminded of a deep hurt or unmet need.
For example, Jen’s father left when she was 6 years old. At that age, she lacked the mental capacity to understand this was not her fault. She has held onto the fact that she is not enough and that is why he left for the rest of her life. So, when she gets ghosted by a guy she’s been on a few dates with, she is highly triggered.
It triggers all that “not enough-ness” that her six year old inner child felt. And her adult self acts out in ways to try and make her feel enough. She wants to know why he left, she wants to be told she is enough. So she sends a series of angry messages to the guy, demanding a reason and making it clear his behaviour is unacceptable to her. She becomes convinced he must have met someone better, so starts diverting past his office on her lunch break. Makes her friends go to his favourite weekend hangout. Checks his social media account multiple times a day.
You, I and most other women in the modern dating world have done all or some of these behaviours. It’s actually pretty normal.
But, if Jen knew that she was enough. If she trusted there were better men out there who will treat her how she wants to be treated. She wouldn’t behave that way. She’d recognise that this clearly wasn’t the guy for her and wouldn’t waste any more time or energy on him.
How can she make the switch?
By nurturing that six year old inner child that still remains within her. Once that child realises that she is not to blame for her father leaving, her adult self will feel enough again.
How does this work?
Think about it like this - for every event that you go through as a child a file is created in your subconscious mind that links a cause and effect. For Jen, that was someone she loved leaving (Cause) = I am not good enough to make them stay (Effect). That file gets stored and will activate every time the cause (someone leaving) arises.
If Jen goes back to that file and changes the link between cause and effect, so that the six year old Jen accepts that it is not because there is anything wrong with her, that file changes. So when the cause (someone leaving) arises again, she is not triggered into thinking she is not enough. She creates a new effect.
And when she’s not triggered, she won’t act crazy. How do this apply to you?
Understanding your inner files, the cause and effects, and changing those that don’t serve you is the key to changing your life in the ways you deserve.
This works for absolutely anything, but is pivotal for your love life. Our intimate relationships leave the biggest imprint on us, so those files are loaded strongly and activated easily.
Once you have a set of files that are compatible with the type of relationship you want - happy, secure and supported, your mind will seek out that match in a future partner. You’ll start finding compatible partners with a lot less effort. You’ll stay in control, stay being you, throughout the dating experience. And your resulting relationship will be exactly as you want it - happy, secure and full of support.
If you want to clean up your own files, I’m here for you. The most profound way to do this is through working with me one on one where I can use my hypnotherapy magic completely tailored to you. To explore this, book a free consultation here.
With much love,