“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
If you’ve spent months, years or even decades hoping to meet the right person and they’ve still not come along, there is something you can do about it.
Other people won’t tell you that. They’ll say you just need to wait and the right person will show up. But, how’s that gone for you so far??
If you’re ready to move on from relationship patterns from the past and meet the right person for you, you need to start doing some things differently. Or of course, you won’t get different results. I mean that quote does come from Einstein afterall.
Step One: What are you doing that lights you up and makes you happy?
Try this very simple exercise. Make a list of the things that make you happy. Then make a list of all the things you do on a daily basis. Then compare.
Chances are “watching random videos of Justin Bieber from five years ago” is not high on your first list. But notice how easily it can creep into your second list.
When you live a life that makes you happy, your whole persona changes. You feel good. Happy. Fulfilled. With reasons that excite you to get up in the morning.
And, as an added bonus when you’re out doing the things you love, men will be there too. Running club, pottery class, walking on the beach - all opportunities to meet men with the same priorities and hobbies as you. And they will meet you at your best - happy and fulfilled.
Step Two: What are you doing to put yourself in the places where you’ll meet the right types of guy?
“I don’t go clubbing, so how am I going to meet anyone?”
Newsflash: if you don’t like clubbing, you probably don’t want to be in a relationship with a hardcore raver.
It’s much harder to find the right guys when you’re hanging out in the wrong places. That includes only hanging out in groups with married couples, women-only yoga classes or ordering in take-out for one.
When you do Step One, you’ll already be finding yourself in new places.
Now add to that - what things does your dream man probably like doing? Where is he likely to hang out? Who’s he friends with? Where does he work?
Then choose some of those places that seem fun for you too, and start going there. Take your book to the cafe next to that gym full of hotties. Join that club full of intelligent men that has always intrigued you.
Don’t feel like a desperate Dora, go full of confidence, and be open to whatever comes along. Even if you don’t meet Mr Right, you’ll have some interesting new experiences!
Step Three: How much space, time and energy are you leaving for dating?
Good relationships take time and energy. Significant amounts of both. If you can’t find enough of those to go on the occasional date, how are you going to fit a relationship into your life?
Ask yourself honestly: do you feel tired pretty much daily? Does the thought of having to do certain things exhaust you? If so, you need to stop, take a break and build some downtime into your life.
Dating takes energy. You want to feel good and look good. Dating takes time. You need free evenings, weekend time and moments to message in the day.
Create some space in your life and you’ll find suddenly you have the time and energy to commit to dating. And the Universe will swoop in to fill that space in no time.
As you start to design your life to make you happier and more fulfilled, it’s important to also recognise who you are allowing in. Recognising guys who have the potential to be your dream partner, and those who most definitely don’t is key to finding your dream relationship.
And you’ll stop wasting your time and get there much faster too.
That’s why I developed from Mr Wrong to Mr Right, an online journey to help you understand the patterns holding you back from finding your dream relationship and teaching you how to recognise your dream Mr Right. It’s broken down into short modules that will fit around your busy schedule and “superb!” in the words of its alumni.
Here’s what Zoe discovered in the course: "This course provided such insightful and helpful information which draws attention to why you may have experienced difficulty dating in the past. I am so much more conscious about this now which means I don’t waste my time on men that I know are not looking for anything serious."