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The one thing you should always focus on

I have clients of all ages, and all stages in the relationship process. From dealing with a break-up to enjoying parenthood. Yet there is one fundamental bit of advice I end up giving to them all.

Always focus on making yourself feel good

Think about that for a moment and notice how it makes you feel - do you think it’s selfish? Do you feel guilty? Do you think that’s not helping others, or the environment? Do you think it will cost a lot of money? Or that you don’t have time?

Whatever thoughts come up are a valuable insight into your subconscious reasoning and thought processes.

And it’s these that are holding you back from feeling good. So sit with them.

How to change these limiting thoughts

If you think it’s selfish > note that the better you are feeling, the better able you are to give your best to others, your work and your environment.

If you feel guilty > why? Why should you focus on others the whole time and not look after yourself? Why don’t you feel worthy?

If you think it will be expensive > the best self care is often free - rest! Sure a day at the spa might come at a cost, but sleeping, your favourite film, a delicious bath or reading a book are all free, or pretty close to!

If you think you don’t have time > check your social media screen time ;)

How to make yourself feel good

You know how to do this. Of course you do. Think about the things that make you feel happy, calm and/or relaxed. And simply do more. Here are some of my favourite self-care rituals.

  1. Taking some time to just BE outdoors in nature. Walking and riding are my favourites, but just admiring a view or enjoying a sunset, or swinging in a hammock in the garden all tick the box.

  2. A warm bath with essential oils and a good book. I’m one of those who spends an hour in there, draining the cold water and topping up with the hot!

  3. Cuddles. Physical touch is super important to me, and my best instant pick-me-up is a hug from someone I love.

  4. Yoga. I’ve just invested in my first private yoga class, and I loved it - I feel fantastic, my body is basically singing it feels so good! Yoga couldn't be easier - it is everywhere, including YouTube!

  5. Meditation. Despite the fact I lead meditations and hypnotherapy sessions, it’s easy for me to miss my own practice. But I feel the worlds’ worries melting away every time I do. Remember, just 5 minutes a day will have a profound impact on your stress levels, happiness and physical health.

Two more reasons

If you need any more convincing, here are two more reasons why this is the one thing you should always focus on:

1. Looking after yourself massively ups your mental and physical resilience. It allows you to put everything into perspective. Meaning you can cope much better with whatever life throws at you (from cheating boyfriends to a nightmare boss).

2. Looking after yourself makes you a happy person, allowing you to have more fun and is infectious to those around you! When you feel good, you create a secret irresistibility. Vital for keeping and making the most of healthy, happy relationships.

I’d love to know the ways that you look after yourself. Drop me a comment below and let me know!

If you'd like to invest in yourself this year, get in touch with me today to find out how I can help. Whether it's some hypnotherapy to help you get over an ex or other life event, or you're ready to jump into my Finding Mr Dateable program, there'll be something that's perfect for you. You can email me or schedule a completely free call with me here.


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