The Scene
You’ve met someone you’re really interested in. It’s early days but going well (you think!). You know that you’re ready for commitment, but how can you tell if he is?
First, abide by the golden rule: look to his behaviours, not to his words.
Someone can tell you until they’re blue in the face that they want a relationship, but unless their actions are proving this, it’s just words. They might really want to believe their words too, but these words don’t equal a readiness to commit. There behaviour does.
The Green Flags - Ready for Commitment
A guy who is ready for commitment will:
Be trustworthy and open. He will actively sharing parts of his life with you. Sharing work stories, introducing you to his friends and letting you know what he’s up to.
Make time for you. He actively make and follow through on plans with you, and if he can’t make it, he will be honest about why and suggest an alternative.
Share stories. He will be willing to talk about what he wants in the future, what a great relationship means to him, and how he would share his life.
Be responsive and communicative. He’ll message or call on a regular basis, including being the first to reach out to you.
Commit to future plans. Even if it’s just the next week, he’ll be willing to plan ahead and then follow through.
Be physically close to you. He’ll want to be close to you, in a non-sexual way and in public.
The Red Flags - Not Ready for Commitment
A guy who is not ready for commitment will:
Disappear or withdraw after any period of intensity or prolonged time together
Be reluctant to make and keep plans
Switch between being responsive and then going quiet
Prioritise his own commitments and find ready excuses not to make plans or not to see you
Be reluctant to show intimacy with you in a non-sexual way
Not introduce you to his friends or family
It sounds kind of obvious when you write it down. But when you’re in the thick of it, it’s so easy to overlook the red flags, or not trust the green ones. So make sure you refer back to this list and keep tabs on behaviour that the guy is showing you, not get fixated on his words.
What to do next
He doesn’t have to be showing everything on the list, but if you’re getting at least three from the first list, you’re probably onto a winner. Even one from the second list is starting to show a red flag, and with two or more, you really need to stop and think it through.
And if he’s not showing you the signs of commitment YOU get to choose what to do. Find out exactly what to say and do to get him to step up or step away in my facebook live on this topic. To view, you just need to answer the three quick questions to join my private Dating in Dubai facebook group.
Need further advice?
I offer all my private clients one-on-one dating, messaging and scenario advice. So whatever situation you're in with a guy, you have someone to help guide you through navigating the early dating days. You can have be on call, whenever you need. To find out more, book a free consultation call with me here to find out more.