Are you one of nearly a third of single people who believe they will never fall in love? According to a survey by EHarmony, 29% of singles stated that they had given up on finding love.
The main reasons cited were not thinking that the right person is out there, not meeting new people and not feeling attractive enough. All reasons that are exasperated by the online dating world, and the world of social media advertising perfect bodies and shiny happy families. If you couple this with finding yourself stuck in a social circle full of “smug married” dinner parties, it’s easy to see why dating can feel like a long, steep mountain with no guarantee of ever reaching the top.
Signs that you are giving up on finding love
You fill your schedule with events, girls nights, fitness classes or designated evenings chilling at home, leaving no room for dating
You live alone, find yourself protective of your space and talk about how much you like having your own space and things your own way
You increasingly focus on your career, working longer hours, travelling and investing heavily in career progression
You find yourself talking about hard it is to find someone and all the reasons why that’s true
Now I’m not saying any of the above are necessarily wrong - of course it’s OK to live alone, work hard and engage in social activities. It’s when these things cross a certain line which starts to rule out the possibility of allowing someone new into your life, that you may be subconsciously “blocking” love from finding you.
Dating and relationships are tough
I will never deny that there are many factors that make dating tough. Facing rejection and putting yourself out there in a dating culture where feelings are not always respected isn’t easy. But it’s also a necessary step to take towards finding real, healthy, long-lasting love.
But dwelling on that doesn’t help
Your thoughts dictate your actions. Every thought that you have is programming you. And the more you focus on how hard dating is, how impossible it is to find someone and the negative attributes of the potential partners you do meet, the less likely you are to find yourself in a relationship.
My story that I would never find a partner that matched what I wanted in Dubai held me stuck. I had been exposed to men who focused on their career and often seemed to see dating as a fun hobby. I thought they were were my only option. A long drive to the desert with a friend led to me changing my story. I realised that if I was here, then surely there was someone like me here also. Nine days later, I met my partner. A fellow entrepreneur, ready to settle down, grew up nine miles down the road for me and will even allow me to drag him to a yoga class on occasion. Something I honestly didn’t believe possible. Until I did.
It can be really hard when you feel like all your practical experience points the other way, but believing and trusting that there is someone out there for you is an essential step to finding someone.
And remember this
It only takes one. And it WILL keep going wrong until it goes right. But each time it does, you learn, you grow and you move closer towards the right relationship. Only by getting out there and giving yourself this experience, can you open yourself up to the possibility of meeting the right person.
I leave you with this. What scares you more - facing potential rejection and hurt to ultimately find your forever relationship, or deciding to be alone forever?