As I was browsing through properties for sale one sunny day (I’m sure I’m not the only one that absolutely loves this, right??), it hit me. Finding a guy is just like finding a property.
I remembered back to talking with my friend and her mother when she was looking for her dream home. I remember saying “At the end of the day, it only takes one. Just like a man!”. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but it really tickled her Mum so stuck with me ever since.
So here you have it - a guide to both finding the one, and your dream home. You can use it for either really - you’re welcome ;).
It only takes one
Firstly, it’s really important to remember that you have to keep on looking until you find the right one. But, when you’ve found it, that’s it. You’re done. It/he goes off the market, and so do you.
You’re going to keep not finding it/him until you do. Don’t get disheartened. You won’t be looking forever, and the smarter you are about looking, the quicker you’ll find the right one.
You have to see a number to know what you want
When you start looking for your dream home, you have a detailed list of wants and don’t-wants. However, when you start looking round houses, you realise that some of these are more or less important than you thought. Perhaps you thought location was the most important thing. After five tiny houses in your dream location, you realise that you don’t want to compromise that much on space. You switch your priorities around.
It’s the same thing with dating. Dating is a process that lets you explore what you want and don’t want. You’ll be surprised at some of the “deal-breakers” and some of the things you thought were deal-breakers and turned out to be a completely loveable trait.
It’s easy to take dating a bit too seriously. Every date requires a detailed analysis and a decision. You’d never complete on a house after one ten-minute viewing, so why expect the same from a date? Keep going until you’re sure, and see every date as a chance to get feedback on what you want.
It's probably not perfect but the perks outweigh the flaws
Just like with a home, you’ll need to start off looking for the one with a clear list of what you’re looking for. However, you must also appreciate the perfect person simply does not exist. You can get pretty damn close, but no human is perfect.
I’ve seen women not go on second dates because of a man’s annoying laugh. Or dodgy dress sense. Despite the fact he ticks all the really important criteria. Look for whether the perks outweigh the flaws, and whether the flaws can be overcome (e.g. by buying him some new clothes).
Accept that no-one is perfect and you open yourself up to many more potentials.
You may waste time/money on a failed attempt, but speeds up the process when you find your dream home
When my sister and I were looking for our home together, we thought we’d found it. We were super excited, loved the location and were busy planning the extension. Then we had the survey done. It was a no go. We were emotionally devastated (and annoyed at the wasted time and money).
But eighteen months later, we found a much better home. Our budget had increased, the area was nicer and the flat more spacious. We had our mortgage lined up and were able to make and get an offer accepted the same day we viewed. The flat came off the market immediately. We’ve made back more than the money we lost on our “failed” attempt.
It’s exactly the same with relationships. Sometimes you get really far down the line for it to fall apart at the last hurdle. That’s OK. You learn. Next time, you’re able to spot the fatal flaws early on.
Then, when you find the right one, you can make the right decision, faster and the whole process will be that much smoother.
Check out Part Two of this post here...
Chicas, listen up...
Are you a smart, successful woman who is struggling to find a meaningful, lasting relationship?
I'm intrigued by the modern dating world and the struggles I personally encountered and see so many other women faced with. I think I’ve found a solution and I want to make sure it covers exactly what women like you would be looking for.
I have created an anonymous survey and I'm reaching out to women who are one or more of the following (and single!) to identify their needs:
Working in the corporate world
Between 25 - 45
Would like to be in a relationship in the near future
You'll get some great insights into your current mindset.
On behalf of the happiness of my future clients, I would be so grateful for 2-3 minutes of your time to complete the survey by clicking here.